Monday, 15 November 2010

Port-A-Potty Diaries--1st Entry

15 Nov 10

Dear diary,

I've ran in Germany, Portugal, the U.S., the U.K., Kyrgyzstan, Turkey, Qatar, and Puerto Rico. In all of these instances there is one common factor. All port-a-potties are the same. They all look the same, usually blue. They all smell the same. I'm not talking about the obvious smell of poo and pee. I'm talking about the smell of that blue crap that's in 'em. Speaking of which, they ALL have that blue crap in 'em. Why can't a country come up with another dye color for that crap?

Now don't get me wrong, there are a few differences. For example; a port-a-potty in Qatar is far worse than one in the U.K. Why you may ask? Because the by-products of...well, you know...smell far worse in 130 degree temps than they do in 85 degree temps. Sometimes the alternative of crapping ones pants may be better. Thank goodness I've not done that yet...but...

And what exactly is it with that urinal thing on the side? Do we guys REALLY need a urinal in a port-a-potty? All that does is give us something else to pee all over. And speaking of that, why is it that dudes can't hit a hole twice the size of a toilet at home? I'm telling ya', if I peed all over the toilet seat at home I'd get my butt stomped by the little lady. Not to mention I kind of like having a clean bathroom.

I also think that every port-a-potty on a running race course should be stocked copies of Runner's World. I mean seriously; what if I get a bad stomach ache and need an extended break in the ole mobile crap house? At least I can feel in touch with the race by reading some race related material. Besides, there may be an artical on how to increase your PR chances after having to taking a port-a-potty break. It could happen.

Finally, I think it should be a law that ALL port-a-potty companies world-wide should stock those things with Charmin, hand sanitizer, those paper @$$ gasket things and some Lysol smell good spray. Violators would be prosecuted under INTERPOL or something.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Very funny!
    It's a good thing they don't have RW in the pots, or people like me might never be able to get in to one to use it! might make a good TP alternative!

  3. ERG!!! It is a good thing that Mark Remy isn't likely to be reading the comments on this particular blog-site. That was mean. Funny, but mean. Besides, newspaper works better, not that I would know from personal experience or anything.

    HR,don't you love that they feel "Bubble Gum" is the appropriate smell for them? Why that smell and not say, pine or something? As for you suggested requirements, I concur, but the enforcement would be rather difficult.